Get Ready For More Bad Football At Euro 2008

Ahead of Russia clash with Israel that would have somehow determined England's Euro '08 qualifying hopes, there was much talk about how England had been arrogant, assumed that they would qualify easily, disregarded their opponents and generally thought they only needed to show up to enjoy the world stage next year. Croatia's manager Slaven Bilic derided the English team for not taking them seriously and generally being lazy and money grubbers. Guus Hiddink was adamant that England did not deserve a place in the international tournament, and rubbed his hands in glee at hammering the final nail in the English's flailing attempts at qualification.

After a night of upsets, it seems that none of these teams from Group E deserve to go through anywhere.

First to qualify - Croatia. They might have been the best team in the group - but that is based on results. Sinking on a muddy pitch in Macedonia hardly struck fear in their next opponent England, although it could be said that they might have been affected by news of Russia struggling on the night. Still, if you lose to Macedonia (albeit away), I doubt any team in the finals would be exactly terrified of your abilities.

Next, England. So after a week of conspiracist theories and self-pity, they now suddenly get a chance to put themselves in next summer's competition. Steve McDoofus has sprung up with fighting talk, confident that his great England stars will seize the day and make qualification a formality in their last clash with Croatia. They only need to avoid a loss to do so. Should be a walk in the park right? Well, just look at Russia.

If England qualify, it will just mean the same for every previous tournament in which they have featured (apart from the Venables era). Boring games filled with more talk on WAGs than true footballing ability. Over-paid stars who even have trouble controlling the ball. Bad football generally all round. And McClaren would still be there unless the FA have balls big enough to sack him.

What about Russia? They are still in with a chance - but only if England shoot themselves in the foot. However, who really needs them? Guus Hiddink might have shown his tactical prowess on the big stage with South Korea and Australia, but it was layered with a generous helping of inspired play from teams who regarded themselves as underdogs. Russians have a history of making a mockery of national teams who should be honoured to represent their countries. Each time they step up one level, be it the World Cup or Euro Championships, they squabble for more bonuses and engage in backyard football if their demands were not entertained. Furthermore, they are not really that pretty to watch either.

So, regardless of who qualifies from Group E, all you get will be bad football at Euro 2008.